What Courage Really Means | Rev. John Riley

Good morning. We’re in that month, a month of imaging, a month of imagining and visualising what life will be like now and how we will live life and how we will step into life, and step into that vision of expressing that essence of who you are, that divinity within you, that spark within you.

And on that path, have you ever felt stuck? Anybody? Yeah! Maybe that stuckness felt like “I keep trying to do, you know, what I want to do. I have this vision of having a new job or have this vision of having a new career. I have this vision of this business plan or something I want to do in my life and I’m just stuck.” Maybe it’s the little things in life. I have this vision of replacing that cracked sink so I don’t have to go into the kid’s bathroom to brush my teeth. Or is that just me? And yet, sometimes we’re moving forward, and we have this feeling of knowing our oneness with God and then there’s times when you just hit the wall. We feel stuck. Whatever our dreams or goals are, we just kind of seize up. 

Courage

Well, today we’re going to be talking about the cure for that. I’m going to give you the answer in one word. Are you ready? You might want to take notes. Courage. Courage. Now, when I say the word courage, what comes into your head? Just think about that idea of courage. The cowardly lion. That’s because I said courage. What makes an elephant tusk, what makes an elephant tusk in the misty mist and the dusky dusk? Courage. What puts the ape in apricot? Courage. What do they got that I ain’t got? Courage. So, think about it. What do you come up with when you hear the word courage? What really comes to mind? What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Self-sacrifice, Medal of Honor, self-advocacy, bold — what was it? — fear and bravery, trust. Gosh with masks it’s hard to understand everyone. I should bring out signs. If you are online, put something in the chat. What is it that brings to mind, what comes to your mind when you hear that word courage? 

For me, when I first hear the word courage it’s about going above and beyond. It’s about rushing into that burning building. It’s about that Medal of Honor person who’s dragging somebody to safety, something really big, something really courageous. And yet, courage is what we need on a day-to-day basis whenever we’re feeling stuck. So, I think it’s important for us to reframe that idea of courage in our mind first, to give it a new definition, to look at it from a different perspective and maybe a spiritual perspective. 

In the Daily Word, Charles Fillmore, the co-founder of the Unity movement, defines courage as a spiritual quality. That is something within you that is based on that divine essence that’s within you, that quality within you that comes from that spark, that divinity, that Christ consciousness, that higher consciousness, whatever you want to call it. It’s just an attribute that you have that is innately available to you, that spiritual quality that enables one to remain poised and centered in God amidst the obstacles. Courage is that part of you that enables you to remain poised and centered in Spirit, centered in the energy of divine love and wisdom and life, centred in the Source in the face of and in the midst of obstacles. So, when you hear it from that perspective, it becomes a little bit, at least for me, it becomes a little bit more accessible. What do you think? I see some nods. That is good. It becomes a little bit less daunting. Right? We’re able to kind of now look at it from a different perspective. 

From First Chronicles, chapter 28, verse 20, King David instructing his son Solomon on how to build a temple. That’s what this chapter is all about. David said, further to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage and act. Do not be afraid or dismissed for the Lord God, my God, is with you.” Be strong and of good courage and act. When we’re feeling stuck, when we’re feeling immobilized, courage is what makes us, get’s us to that next small step. 

One Small Step

So, when we look at it from a spiritual perspective, we don’t have to think of it as, “Oh, I’ve got to go do something enormous”. No, it just takes courage to take one small step. So, in our vision of replacing the sink, what would be my one first next step? Buy the sink. That is actually step four. I actually have to measure it. I tried to jump to step four right away and then I’m like “Oh, wait a minute”. And when I got to step four, I’m like, “Ah, next week”. Have you ever felt that? You get to that stumbling point and you’re like, “Ah, whatever. It’s not that important. I can live for a little bit longer going to the kid’s bathroom to brush my teeth. No big whoop.” But, you see, that is us putting ourselves down again. It’s like “Okay no, I’m just going to step back and I’m not going to do it again”. I’ve waited for weeks and weeks now and when I took my step number four, it’s like “Nope. That is the wrong step up. Okay, I can wait a little bit longer”. So, we fall back into that slide of apathy, that slide of “it doesn’t matter as much. My dreams and my goals don’t matter”. 

The Hallmark of Courage

Now, one of the books that I am reading that I am just absolutely loving is the book Letting Go, by David Hawkins, Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender”. He has a whole chapter about courage because courage is what can lift us out of the funk, lift us out of the apathy, lift us out of being stuck, of the depression, of the anguish. One step is courage. That is all you need. Here is what he says to define courage. “The hallmark of courage is the knowledge and feeling I can”. So, think about a goal you have where you feel stuck because I’m sure we all have one. Or think about something in your life where you are kind of like, “Well, I know I should go do that but I’m not going to”. 

Just think of changing the thinking around it to just the idea of I can, I can do that. “It’s a positive state in which we feel assured, skillful, adequate, capable, alive, loving and giving and an overall zest for life. We are capable of humour, activity, confidence and clarity. In this state we feel centered, balanced, flexible, happy, independent and self-sufficient. We can be inventive, creative and open. In courage there is a lot of energy, action and letting go, the capacity to be there, to be spontaneous, resilient, resourceful and cheerful”. What? In this state, we can be very effective in the world and in our lives, just from switching on that idea of courage. 

The Turning Point

Now, everything below courage, he says, courage is kind of that base line. That is the middle ground on our emotional scale, on our consciousness scale. If you want numbers, that is number 200 out of 1000. Doesn’t mean anything except for it’s right there. That is the turning point. Everything that is below it, all of those states of consciousness, all of those belief systems that are below it are all detrimental to us, that drag us down. 

So, let me give you an example. First there is the idea of pride and desire. We have something, we want something. We all have that desire in our life. Now the question is, how are we looking at that desire. Are we looking at it from the standpoint of this is something that I want, this is something that is beneficial to me? But are we looking at it with the message in the background saying, “I don’t deserve it. I’m not good enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m not smart enough”? The desire isn’t the problem but it’s the tape that’s playing in the background. The belief that goes along with the desire is the belief of “I should not. I am not”. 

Down below our desire, once we get to that point of “I’m not”, comes the fear. The fear is the idea of “I’m not good enough. Maybe if I do step out, people will reject me. Maybe if I do go online and try to sell my art, no one will buy it. Maybe if I do present my business plan, people will laugh at it. Maybe if I do try to make a career change, my parents will say, what are you thinking.” That comes from that fear of I’m not good enough and behind the fear what takes us down that spiral, that emotional spiral then comes regret, when we didn’t do it. “I should have” is the belief system that comes along with regret. “I should have done it.” 

Then after regret comes the hopelessness, the apathy, the idea of despair. “Oh, just forget it. No, it’s just not worth it”. After despair, we get down to the guilt phase of life. That guilt emotion which says, “I didn’t do it. Nah, forget it” and then “Gosh, I wish I would have done it. Why didn’t I do it?” After guilt comes shame. After that comes, I think, not breathing. The belief that comes along with the feeling of shame is what we are attaching to the “I am” — “I am a bad person. I am not good.” 

Those feelings, in and of themselves, are not the issue. When we feel despair, when we feel shame, when we feel guilt, when we are feeling a sense of disconnection, a sense of stuckness, that is not the problem. The problem is the story that we attach to that feeling. Whenever I’ve been practicing it this week, it’s like “Okay let’s see if this actually works, Riley”. So, as soon as I’m sensing myself and becoming aware of myself having one of those feelings, I immediately say, “Oh, what’s the story that’s behind it?” Then I let the story go. Then I just allow the feeling, and the feeling just kind of drifts away. Without the story — the story is the fuel to it — so when I let go of the story, I can allow myself to relax, to become, to pause in that moment. Then in that moment I can say “What would be the next courageous step along my path? Well, let me get up and go get the tape measure so I can measure the sink. Let me take one step and write out a one-page cover letter for my business plan. Let me take one step and take a picture of my art.” Let me take one step, whatever that step may be, just one little step and the courage it takes to take that step in the face of that fear that I am not good enough. When I took that step boy, I felt “Okay, I got this”. I was courageous. You know what the very next thought was? “What, are you crazy? It’s one little thing. That’s not courageous”. 

You see what our brain does, it automatically goes back to that shame, blame and guilt cycle. It automatically goes and says what you just did is not good enough. It takes us right back there, so be aware of that. When you are acting courageously, be aware that the brain, the pattern is going to be your belief system that is embedded within you, is going to say “Yeah, whatever. It was just alright. Not really that good”. When you hear that voice, get rid of that story. Shift it in that moment. Oh, whoa, there is that story. 

So, what I started to do is I started to write it down. I will explain this step as we go forward. But remember whenever you are feeling the desires, the fear, the regret, the despair, the guilt, the shame, know that those feelings are just simply warning signs, that your belief system is whack. I think that is a spiritual term. Whack. Our belief system is not in alignment with the truth of what we have been told, that God is everywhere present, that God is within you, that God is that presence within you, that ask. 

The Willingness to Look Within

Hawkins goes on to talk about just this willingness to look within, without the blame, shame and guilt. Just the willingness to look within, to understand ourselves a little bit better, to identify where our emotions are being driven by our belief systems, by our embedded patterns. That willingness to look within is incredibly courageous. Why do we not do the spiritual practices that we all know about? Why do we not do them everyday? Lazy! Because if we did them, nothing, something might change, or nothing will change. And then what happens if nothing changes? “Oh my gosh I did it wrong. I see what a terrible person I am.” You see how that blame cycle goes just from being lazy. We have all of these reasons. 

So, to be able to look within and to see ourselves, see that idea, see what is inside of us, have the courage to look within, is our first step towards recovery of any of those situations, of any of those states of consciousness because all of those states of consciousness are duality, are dualistic. They are me versus them, victim/victor, me separate from God, me separate from one another, separate from my own individual power. The belief system that drives those energies is separation. Courage is our first step back to our oneness with Spirit, our oneness with the divine flow of life, love and wisdom, our oneness with God. 

Hawkins says it’s often easy to jump from any of those lower feelings up to courage merely by affirming our courage, affirming our courage to look, to look at and handle our feelings. The mere willingness to look, the mere willingness to look and to begin to handle our feelings increases our self-esteem. Just the mere willingness. How’s that for a definition of courage? 

Self-Awareness

So, the practice that I went through, and that I invite you to, is to become more self-aware. Just be the observer and when you find yourself in one of those situations or one of those feelings or emotions just stop and pause for a moment. Become presenced to that divine essence that is within you, to identify what’s the story that is driving the emotion, to let go of the story. Just let it go. 

The practice is, “What is the next step that I can do along this path, the smallest step that I can think of — not having the sink all of a sudden magically done — what’s the first and smallest step?” and then affirm your courage in it. Affirmation is the practice that Hawkins talks about. It’s affirming that that is truly courageous of me. So, I started writing these things down. Well, my first step was to get out the tape measure. Why was that courageous? Because I would rather be playing on my Xbox. I would rather be …, but I did what I needed to do, what I ought to do. So, I wrote down “Here is my courageous step”. Then I had to decide, here’s why it was courageous. I had to put that in there because immediately my brain is going to say, “That is not courageous. What are you talking about? That is just something little. You just picked up a tool”. But what I overcame was that inertia. What I overcame was that distraction. What I overcame was tomorrow thinking, “I really should have replaced my sink as I am wiping up the water because I forgot and turned on the sink and the water is flushing all underneath me”. Notice. Get rid of the story. What is one small step that I can take along my path and then write it down? 

The Enemy of Creativity

Seth Godin, who is one of my favourite marketing gurus, says, “The enemy of creativity is fear. The remedy then is to act in a creative way. Action persuades fear to lighten up”. And that’s what I felt. It’s like I could feel the grip of “Oh, I should have done that. I should have had the slides done because then I would have noticed that the Daily Word was incorrect on the big screen. I should have done that.” And when I got rid of the “should have” and just said “Well there it is. Yeah, I felt sad about that”, then the sadness goes away and it lightens it up. I’m lightened up. That first step, just lightens us up. I also experienced that it gives me the energy to take that next step. It’s like “Okay, I did one now I can go back, well maybe I will do one more. Maybe now I’ll go search online for the right sink”. One step at a time. Then I felt — I started feeling okay about myself when I did take a break. But I said, “You know, I did some work today. I made progress. I feel good about the progress and I’m going to take a break and do something different, a little brain break.” I was okay with it. Whereas before I might have felt a little guilty about it. 

At the end of it, really at the end of the day when I’m looking back at all the courageous acts that I did, I felt empowered. I felt hopeful. I was allowing myself to let go. I was allowing that energy to well up within me. I was taking steps along my path and I felt good about where I was going. And I was making progress along my path. Just simply by having a little bit of courage.

I would like to move to our affirmation. I will read it once. I would like to move away from our affirmation. You know, if I had only got that done yesterday. So, why don’t I do this, why don’t I read our affirmation. The online folks can read and say with me and you can just soak it in. Does that work for you? I think it is on the website, hopefully correct, but who knows. So, let’s just sink into this affirmation:

“Releasing the stories about my fears, I have the courage to transcend my inner barriers. Releasing the stories about my fears, I have the courage to transcend my inner barriers. I am empowered to confidently move through my day with ease and grace. I am empowered to confidently move through my day with ease and grace, eager to do that which ought to be done by me.”

Pema Chodron, in her book When Things Fall Apart, says, “The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently. It’s merely the act of wanting to look within that lifts us up”. That simple act brings us to a higher state of consciousness and gives us what we need, the energy that we need to lift ourselves out of the funk, lift ourselves out of being stuck, to find our way around the obstacles, over the obstacles, through the obstacles, to continue on our path.