How to Find What You Are Seeking | Rev. John Riley

Well, are you seeking? Are you seeking that something good? Are you feeling stagnant and stuck? Are you feeling that call that there is something better and something more, some more good in your life, that wonderland that we want to experience in our lives?

Living Into the Call

Well, today we’re going into the second step of really living into that call, living into that call that’s pulling you forward. Last week we began with the idea of claiming it, the idea that there is good in our lives right now and we should claim it because so often people tend to look at life, they look at their tasks, they look at their challenges, they look at their things to do in their relationships as needing something more, something more shiny, something brighter, something, more money, a better something, a better job, perhaps a little less of complaining, something like that.

We are always looking at it through the perspective of lack and limitation. So, we know by the fifth principle and by our practice of the principle that when we look at things from that perspective, from a lack perspective that that is what we see and experience and create. We create our own stagnation. So, our first task last week was to claim it, to claim our good, to look around the world, to look around your life and to see where there is good, where there is God, where is the evidence of Spirit in your life and to really do it intentionally so that when we begin our day, we first begin it with that lens, that consciousness of “good exists”. We claim it for ourselves. We claim our spiritual inheritance, if you will. When you begin that day, now your lens is looking for more good. You are looking through the lens of good and you are attracting, and you are creating and you are being a part of life that way, by claiming your good.

Appreciation and Gratitude

Now, I would like you to take just a moment to kind of anchor yourself in that. Take just a moment to think about something that you are truly grateful in your life, something that brings you a felt sense of appreciation and gratitude, that you can feel it in your heart, that you can feel yourself opening up. You can feel your shoulders drop as the tension drops and just allow yourself to sink into and claim this good in your life. It might be a relationship. It might be someone special in your life or a dear pet or it might be an experience that you’ve had in the past that you recall that brings you great joy. Maybe it is something that you have or some item that reminds you of your good. If you can’t think of anything, just focus on your breath and realize your breath is a gift, that Spirit is breathing you right now. So, just take a moment to bring that sense of goodness to life and to claim it. See if you can feel that sense of gratitude well up within you. See if you can feel that energy emanating from you in this present moment, because that’s where we want to begin, from that spot.

Exploring What Life Has to Offer

And now we are coming to the second step which is to explore it, to explore all that life has to offer for us. So, as we come to this idea, think about exploring, like perhaps a bookstore. That was the cover, as you saw it. That is the new Unity Palo Alto bookstore and I can’t wait for you to be back here to explore it. I remember when I was younger. I don’t know, ten, thirty years ago, I used to love going to the bookstore. Tiffany and I would go and we would search through the CD section. Does anybody remember what CDs are? All of you young folks may not know what a CD is. I feel like I am on the other end of the Wedding Singer movie. We would look through the CDs, we would look through book. And it would just be a time of exploration. I don’t know if there are even bookstores anymore. Are there? Are there bookstores anymore? There is nobody here to answer me. Huh.

Well, I do know that there are bookstores. There are some small bookstores. There are some big bookstores. If fact we were in on our vacation to Hawaii, just before we were coming home, my son Ethan wanted to get a new book so he could read it on the plane. So, we found a used bookstore on the big island and we went in there and I was brought back to that time of exploration, of looking at “Oh, look at all these great books that I have read in the past. I wonder what new is here.” Of course, Ethan is right on it. He picked up two and was like “These are the two, I am ready to go” and I’m like, “I just started”.

So, we went on our way but remember, what in your life do you love to explore? Maybe it’s a bookstore. I like to explore the hardware store. I don’t know, that’s just me. I also love to explore tide pools. You know, the tide pools at Half Moon Bay are teeming with life, just so beautiful. I love to get down there and just explore it. Maybe it’s a trip that you are planning that you want to go explore a city or a trip you’ve been on that you loved exploring the different avenues, the different alleyways, the different areas to eat and how that made you feel, exploring life. And so, that’s the feeling that we want to generate within us.

Think about when you were a kid. Everything was an exploration. A new toy was an exploration. The park just around the corner was an exploration. You got to go and explore what was happening around that area, to pretend to be something different and just allow yourselves to open up to this idea of exploration. So, when we allow ourselves to open up to explore all of the opportunities that life has to offer, to explore the richness and the potential that we have.

The “Yeah-Buts”

So now, I would like you to take a moment and think about the “yeah-buts”. When you were claiming your good and you’re feeling the good, that “yeah but” started creeping in. Maybe it’s a task in front of you. Maybe it’s a challenge that you are up against. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe it’s a decision that you have to make, a relationship. There is something in your life that is up for you, that is alive in you, that isn’t necessarily bringing you that sense of joy, but you want to experience it differently.

Our spiritual growth is no different. Maybe it’s a spiritual practice. Sometimes we think about this idea of enlightenment. “Once I get to enlightenment, once I’m enlightened, I am done. I’m going to transcend.” But enlightenment is just the realization of our oneness with God and it happens on a moment-by-moment basis. So, become like a child, as the master teacher Jesus said as he entered into Galilei with his disciples. He sat down and they started asking questions and he said, truly I tell you unless you become like this little child you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

The kingdom of heaven, of course, is a state of consciousness. It’s that knowing our oneness, it’s that being in that idea and knowing that exists for us, that we are a part of that idea of oneness with God, that God is in us like the ocean is in the wave. And so, enlightenment is, as the late Thich Nhat Hanh would say, the ocean realizing it’s the wave. That is the kingdom of heaven. When we come from that perspective all of life opens up for us. We experience life from such a different place. We experience it from a place of harmony and love, from compassion and self-compassion and self-worth, from a place of inner joy, allowing it to be.

So, we must become and look at the world and look at our challenges through this same eye of exploration. “How can I look at this job and see something different in it? How can I look at this challenge and maybe look at it from a new perspective?” Maybe it’s an old behaviour pattern that I have. Maybe I need to change my behaviour patterns. You see, the challenge with growth is that we have to change and who wants to change. We get so complacent and stuck in our ways. Those automatic behaviours are just running us. In order to change those, we actually have to do something. We have to explore and find new ways and new things and new ideas and try them on for size and then the things that work and lead to our greater good and the greater good of those around us, the greater good of the collective consciousness of our world. That is what we are called to do, is to raise ourselves up.

Trying Something New

There are three tasks that I would like us to think about. So, as you bring that challenge to mind, use that one challenge as we are walking through this. The first step is to try new things. Every day, try something new. If you have a challenge at work, maybe it’s a relationship with your boss or a subordinate, or a colleague or someone in another department, how can you approach that relationship differently? Try something new. Try something new that is good, not the same old passive-aggressive sarcasm, snarkism. Not that path, try a different path. Try to approach them a little bit differently. Maybe it’s just the mundane tasks that you have. Can you approach those tasks a little bit differently? Try something new. Do them backwards.

Every opportunity here is for us to stretch ourselves and find the good in it and find something new, find a nugget, find a new way to experience and navigate it. We may not call it good. It may not be something that we are thinking is good in our lives, but we can navigate it in a way that moves us forward and moves us to a higher state of knowing our oneness, moves us into that state of feeling content within ourselves regardless of the situation around us. feeling that inner peace regardless of what others are throwing at you. Feel that sense of self-worth, even amongst the mistakes. Just allow that to be. So that is the first step. Try things new.

Let It Go

The second step is when it doesn’t work, let it go. Let it go. Now, there’s two sides to this coin. One side is, “I am trying something, oh it’s too hard. I can’t do it. I am going to let it go because I am not willing to grow. I am not willing to expand myself a little bit more. I’m not willing to allow myself to try new things and give it a good try.” So, if you are trying something new, give it its due. Allow it to run its course and see if you are giving it your all. If it doesn’t work, then let it go. There is a cost –what’s it called? It’s called the sunk cost fallacy — and that is the idea, because what we tend to do is, people tend to continue down a path if there has been time and money and effort investing into something regardless of the costs or the benefits. “This is what we are supposed to do so we’ve got to keep going down that path, regardless. We’ve just have to keep going. We’ve got to make it work, even though we are losing money, even though we are not reaching our full potential, even though there is something not working there we just keep trying to do it in the same old way.” Well, it’s time to change.

Now, some people argue that “Well, what if it’s leading to greater happiness? What if it’s leading to greater joy?” Well, that’s a benefit. That is what we are talking about. That needs to be factored into the equation. Is what you are doing giving you a sense of joy and self-worth, giving you a skill that you can apply, giving you a path that you can walk down? And if it’s not, let it go.

Sometimes we go to these great seminars that get us really pumped up and get our adrenalin flowing and our endorphins going and we feel so excited and then two days later we’re back to work and we are thinking about, “Well, what’s the next sunken treasure that I have to go to because I’m not feeling it here?” Because we are not bringing what we learned in that experience into our everyday life. We are not exploring how that can work. So, we really need to give ourselves the opportunity to explore it and when it doesn’t work, we let it go.

Sometimes we hold onto things too long. It’s that last jar of olives in the refrigerator that, “Well, I might use those at some point but I really don’t like them. But I might.” We hold onto them and we become stagnant. How often are you holding onto the old olives in your life? How often are you looking at things and saying well, I might use this someday. We just become stale and stagnant. There is no flow. When we become, when we hold onto things too tight, there is no flow in our lives and so our good can’t come to us. We are really shutting out the good. It’s like we’ve got this dam and this water and it’s all stagnant. We won’t let it out so the water can flush it out and clean it. It’s times like that when you’ve given it your shot and you decide “Well, you know, it’s time for me to let it go. It’s time for me to release it.”

So, in our exploration we can find new ways and if we give it a fair shot to see, “Is it helping, is it changing me, is there a path here for me and what am I holding onto in the past that I can let go of? As I am finding new ways, what old patterns can I let go of?” So that is the second step.

Is What You’re Seeking in Front of You?

The third step is realizing that what you are seeking is often right in front of you. So, take a look at that task. Take a look at that challenge, that goal, that idea, that thing that you are working towards, that thing, because often that thing is not really what we are looking for. That thing is not the end goal. What we want is the experience that lies behind the goal. What we want is the healing that lies behind the challenge. So, if you have a goal and you can look at it and say, “Well, what lies back of it? What is it that I want to experience? What sense of self will it give me, what sense of self-worth, what sense of self-compassion? Is that really what I seek? Am I seeking inner peace? Am I seeking a sense of ease and comfort? What is it that I am seeking?” Because what I am seeking is often not the thing that is out there. What I am seeking is right here, right in front of me, something that I can generate and create through spiritual practice. A sense of self-worth by knowing my oneness and aligning my thoughts, my words, my actions with that one presence and one power.”

You see, we go beyond. We have that transcendent idea of God, that transcendence idea of the allness of life, love and wisdom. That’s out there and we are all apart of it and when we align with it, we get the imminent expression of it, the imminent God that is within us, the imminent energy of spirit, the imminent. It’s like that loving presence putting its arm around us, guiding us. We have that experience when we connect with it.

So, what we are seeking is often not out there. Now, sometimes there are challenges and things that we just have to go through so what we are seeking is a good outcome but also a great experience going through the outcome, maybe a great lesson at the end of it, maybe something that I can apply in my life everyday and help me live more joyfully and more generously.

It’s this aspect where our old wounds are healed because we are holding onto those old wounds or one of those buttons that we have. You know, those buttons that gets pushed. One of my buttons got pushed and so all of a sudden, I am out of my bliss and I am now in the emotion. But if I claim my good in this situation, if I claim my good here and now and if I can explore that button a little bit and see “Well, what’s behind the wound?” Maybe it’s that same sense of self-worth, self-compassion, that same sense of harmony and inner peace that I am seeking. When I realize that that’s what I am seeking, I can give myself that. I can allow that spiritual energy to flow through me and in doing so, heal that wound. That is where our healing can come from. It’s also where we will find meaning in life.

As we are out there exploring, let’s look for something good to do in the world because it’s not just for me, we are not just being selfish. The idea here is that when we create good in our lives, we are creating it for ourselves and we are creating it for others as well. That harmonizing energy radiates from us.

So, as we are going through our life and we are looking for things, exploring new opportunities, exploring new ideas, trying good things out, take a moment to think about what you can do in the next three or four months that will help the world because that will give you a greater sense of what you are really seeking, that sense of spiritual wholeness, that sense of oneness with God, that sense, that uplifting sense of inner joy, inner peace, that comes with that experience.

So, as we are moving through this this week, begin to explore. Begin to look at the things that are around us and around you. Any of the challenges, any of the tasks, any of the things that seem a little difficult, look for new ways to get around it, new ways to move through it, new ways to be in it so that you show up. You show up showing your good. You show up as the light of the world. As the song says, you got it, you got it, you got it.