Don’t Shoot the Messenger

There is a messenger knocking at the door of your mind.

Maybe it’s frustration. Maybe it’s worry. Maybe it’s procrastination or shame or anger. Now, when those messengers knock on our door, what do we do? What do we typically do?

We lock the door. We lock the door. We turn off the lights. We pretend we’re not home. Sometimes we might go out the back door.

Anybody experience that? When those feelings arise, you’re like, “I’m out of here.” We might quietly whisper through the door, “Go away.” Or we might come out with our bow and arrow and start shooting.

Anybody have those experiences in life, those very human experiences in life? Every one of us at one point in our time has had it, so don’t worry if you don’t feel like raising your hands. It’s okay. Because this is part of the human experience, that knocking at our mind every once in a while.

What Is Knocking at Your Door?

Think about what’s knocking at your door right now.

Is it some place in your life where you are hesitating? Maybe there’s a decision that’s been rolling around your brain that you haven’t yet made.

Maybe that decision is something that you’re procrastinating about. Maybe there’s a feeling of anger or a feeling of worry or a feeling of shame or judgment or loneliness or uncertainty.

Maybe some of those things are creeping up during our day. Just take a notice when those things are happening for you, when you hear that messenger knock on your door.

Now, most of us have learned one way or another to deal with the emotions. Most of us have learned something to mitigate it, to cope with it. Sometimes we run from it. Sometimes we fight it. Sometimes we just ignore it. Sometimes that fear or that frustration makes a decision for us.

These are all coping mechanisms, and they’re all fine. And in fact, we have many spiritual practices, many worksheets, many things to work through that help us move through these experiences, and they work until we stop working them.

And sometimes they become coping mechanisms. You know, the latest worksheet gets me just to the point where I’m feeling okay, but I’m not willing to do the deeper work to understand what’s really driving it.

That’s when our spiritual practice, our worksheet, becomes a bypass. We’re not ready to go there yet, and so we stop. It’s just kind of I’m good enough. I’m not gonna worry about what’s behind it. Let’s just move forward.

And sometimes in life that’s okay. Sometimes in life that’s all we can get to.

Buddha, Mara, and the Power of Seeing Clearly

There’s a wonderful and a powerful Buddhist story that gives us another option.

Buddha was sitting quietly, meditating beneath the Bodhi tree. It was one summer morning, very similar to today. Nice and cool out before it got hot in the afternoon.

He had his to-do list. He had his things going on. The birds were singing, the squirrels were gathering, things were happening, and yet his intention and his commitment to himself was to stay there and become still enough and awake enough to see life clearly, to see life clearly as he moved through the rest of his day.

And while Buddha was sitting there meditating, Mara appeared.

Now, in the Buddhist tradition, Mara is the forces, those forces that pull us away from our awakening, those forces within us like fear and doubt, temptation and craving, shame and guilt.

Those voices that say, “You can’t do this. You’ve got too much to do. You’re not good enough.” Have you heard those voices before?

Now Mara did everything that he could to shake the Buddha. He threatened him. He tempted him. He frightened him. He tried to convince him to give up.

“Ah, you know, it’s just one day. You can meditate tomorrow.”

Anybody have those voices in our head? Anybody feel those experiences in life? And it may not be about meditation. It may be about anything in our life when Mara shows up, and Mara’s pulling us and dragging us, saying, “You know, don’t worry about it. Just take a break ’cause tomorrow…”

There’s always tomorrow.

But Buddha did something remarkable. He did not run. He did not pick up his bow and arrow and attack Mara. He did not argue with him.

He did not try to make Mara disappear.

He simply recognized what was happening.

He simply recognized that Mara was there.

“I See You, Mara”

Now in the Buddhist tradition, they have a saying for this: “I see you, Mara.”

I see you. I know what this is. This is doubt here trying to tempt me. This is craving trying to draw me out. This is my own sense of shame.

I see you, but I don’t have to become you.

And in that moment, Mara loses the power that he had over Buddha.

In our life, we have these experiences.

Now perhaps when you’re sitting there meditating, it could be the neighbor who gets up early to start doing construction work. It could be the kids who are yelling and screaming and playing down the street. It could be the dog barking.

Whatever it is that’s disturbing us out there, whatever was disturbing Buddha out there, notice he didn’t have anything to do with out there.

He didn’t blame the neighbors for waking up early and getting started on their project. He didn’t get concerned about the dogs barking and things.

He wasn’t saying, “Neighbors, I see you out there.”

He was saying, “Frustration, I see you in here.”

“Impatience, I see you in here.”

He simply acknowledged what was and allowed it to be. He didn’t fight it. He didn’t try to push it away. He didn’t ignore it. He just allowed it, noticed it, and let it be seen.

And perhaps most importantly, he knew exactly what was happening within himself clearly.

The Messengers of Fear

These frustrations within us, these words, anger, judgment, worry, selfishness, shame, loneliness, uncertainty, all of these words within us carry some power, don’t they?

They carry some power over us when we give our power to them. They carry some things in us that we want to start controlling outside conditions and situations.

New Thought author and speaker and minister Denis Merritt Jones once wrote and created a fascinating phrase for these emotions that bubble up in us.

Are you ready?

Messengers of fear.

“Unmitigated fear can be a bully. And like all bullies, it needs to be faced down, called out, revealed for what it is. Instead of running from fear, we need to confidently stand up to it, to listen to it, and to face it straight on.”

Now, what if that anger and that worry and that judgment and that shame, what if all of those things were not interruptions to our spiritual life?

What if they were not interruptions to our peace?

What if they are actually messengers calling to us, pointing out something within us that needs to be seen, something within us that needs to be healed?

The Buddha saw Mara and did not become Mara. He did not become wrapped up in the anger and the frustration and the temptation.

He simply saw Mara. And he noticed what was present.

And that’s where our work begins.

“It’s important to acknowledge and embrace the fact that our fears will never go away.”

Our fears, our frustrations are never gonna go away because we’re in this human experience.

“They’re not supposed to go away because when seen clearly and proactively, they become gifts of awakening.”

They become the opportunities for us to awaken to what is alive within us and what is seeking expression, what is seeking to be healed.

A New Relationship With Fear

So what if in your life you had a new relationship with these emotions?

What if in your life you were able to see them and say, “I see you,” and then ask, “What’s next?”

So here’s your practice for the week.

Whenever one of these ideas, one of these messengers of fear, one of these things pops up in our life, whenever we start feeling that frustration, feeling that tendency:

Pause

Step #1, pause.

Become present. Become present to Self. Become present to what’s alive in you, what’s rolling through your head, what ideas are forming.

Notice

Pause, and then notice.

I see you. I see you, fear. I see you, frustration.

Ask

And then ask, what’s the message?

Now, Buddha never asked, what’s the message about those people out there?

Buddha asked, “What’s the message, fear, that you are trying to reveal in me? What’s the message, frustration, that is in me that where I am miss– I feel like I’m missing out. I feel like, you know, I’m lacking or I feel like I’m not enough.”

What is the message within me that needs to be healed?

Listen

Pause. Notice. Ask. And listen.

What’s the answer? What comes to you?

What ideas about what needs to be healed within you, what might be missing within you can you give to yourself?

Choose

And then finally, choose.

Choose how you will respond.

A simple practice for the week. Whenever these messengers pop up in our life, just recognize them: “Oh, here’s one of those messengers.”

Just thinking about it that way, doesn’t that change the whole thing? Doesn’t that reframe your anger? Doesn’t it reframe your frustrations?

“Oh, here’s that messenger.”

All of a sudden, I’m unhooked from the thing out there.

Pause.

I see you, frustration. I’m not gonna run from you, I’m not gonna fight you, I’m just gonna notice you.

I’m not gonna put any story into you. I’m not gonna create the story, “Well, this is why this is happening.”

No, I’m just noticing you and I’m allowing, and I’m honoring.

Then I ask, what’s the message that you are here to tell me? What can you give me in this moment?

And in this moment, I make a choice into how I respond.

Listening to Fear Does Not Mean Obeying Fear

Now, listening to the messenger does not mean we are obeying the messenger.

Sometimes our fears come up to make us aware of something, and they may ask us to run away, but the answer that may come to us, the choice that we may make is, “No, I’m gonna stand here.”

“I’m gonna use my courage, my spiritual strength, my own spiritual inner power, and I’m going to take one step forward.”

“I’m going to keep moving forward,” but with a greater awareness.

It means we are making a more informed choice simply by asking, what’s the message?

What Becomes Possible When We Listen?

So imagine in your life, in these situations that we all have, and you know the ones that you have.

Imagine one of those situations where you were able to feel uncertainty without losing your center.

You are able to feel anger without damaging a relationship.

You are able to notice judgment without closing your heart.

You are able to feel shame without forgetting your worth.

You are able to experience fear and still take that next faith-filled step.

This is the possibility on the other side of listening.

This is the possibility on the other side of noticing, of seeing, and being willing to go that one step deeper.

What is the lesson that I can learn from this emotion that’s seeking, that’s asking me, “Please notice me.”

We might experience more peace, more clarity, more courage, more connection, more freedom.

When Fear Speaks, Listen: Fall Enrichment Program

And that’s really the journey that I want to invite us on in the coming month.

Our Fall Enrichment Program is going to start September twentieth.

We’re gonna spend seven weeks exploring what becomes possible when we develop a different relationship with fear.

We’re going to use the book by Dennis Merritt Jones, When Fear Speaks, Listen.

It’ll be a simple seven-week process. We’ll have seven messages. We’ll have seven weeks of small groups together where we can come together and discuss and discern.

There’ll be a study guide where you can reflect on your spiritual practices, reflect on your experiences. And there are opportunities then to take this lesson that we’re learning into your life each week.

Now, the book will be available in the bookstore next week because it was scheduled to get here on Thursday, it was scheduled to get here on Friday, now it’s scheduled to get here on Monday.

Hello, impatience. I see you.

Hello, frustration. I see you.

And no, I’m not gonna shoot the messenger.

I see you.

And when I see that, it’s like, okay, what am I worried about? Everyone’s gonna be here on Sunday, and they’re gonna be frustrated that they can’t go to the bookstore and pick up the book today.

Hello, frustration. I see you.

It’s just simply another way to notice when these things pop up.

And when we can use this process for the little things in life, when the big things in life come, it’s much easier for us to use. It’s much easier for us to move through that and to experience that.

Growing Together in Spiritual Community

So our Fall Enrichment Program will start on September twentieth.

We already have a handful of small groups being hosted by Jho Angeles, by Casey Whitker, by myself.

And if you are called to be a host, to open your home or create a space here for a small group to get together, you can sign up at the activities table out in the courtyard.

You don’t need to be a teacher. You don’t need to be an expert. You don’t have to have any answers.

All we want are people that are willing to welcome, to listen, to participate, and to help create a space together where people feel safe enough to explore, to be real, to dig into that next level and be present to one another.

And if the first voice that you hear is, “You know, I could never do that,” well, that’s your first messenger for the day.

When we explore this journey together, and when we come together and talk about our experiences together, we grow.

We have a new understanding from one another. We become part of our community.

We become part of each other’s journey.

What Might Change in Your Life?

We explore the possibility of what might happen in your life if you had a different experience and relationship with fear.

How would your life change if you had a different dialogue with your frustrations?

How would life be different if you were able to simply meet these things, acknowledge them, and allow them to be while you moved on with a more informed, more uplifted, more practical choice in life, rather than a reaction?

You might stop hiding from fear. You might start succumbing to procrastination. You might stop reacting to the uncertainty and the doubt.

What would your life be like if you practiced these things in September before the holidays?

They’re right around the corner, and the holidays always seem to bring up these messengers.

They’re so sweet to come and knock on our door, aren’t they?

So what would your life be like if you entered that season with a different experience, with a different way to deal with those frustrations, with a different relationship?

Affirmation

Let’s move to our affirmation.

I’m gonna read our affirmation, and then I invite you to affirm it with me.

And as I read it and as you say it, allow it to be real for you. Allow it to be what you are going to bring to your day today.

Today, I listen with awareness.
I trust the wisdom of Spirit within.
I choose with courage.

Would you affirm that with me?

Together.

Today, I listen with awareness.
I trust the wisdom within.
I choose with courage.

And so it is.

Let’s move to our time of meditation and affirmative prayer.