Choosing the Right Ingredients in Life | Rev. John Riley

Oh, I didn’t want to come up on stage. I wanted to sit there for a while. Good morning. How was dinner last night? Great. It was great. Anybody have any leftovers? Okay, I’ll be talking to you later. So I’m, I was thinking about this idea of leftovers because we had a few questions from the q and a service that I wanted to bring in and that we didn’t answer. And a couple of that came in afterwards, and the idea of leftovers came to mind. And then I started thinking about leftovers. So, have you ever had leftovers that the, the night you ate it, it was delicious, and then the next night it, the next day it was even more spectacular. Have you had those kind of leftovers? A lot of us, it’s like all of the herbs and the spices and the juices all kind of marinated and it’s like a brand new meal. It’s fantastic. 

Now, have you ever had those meals that it was good and then the next day it was good, but maybe less spectacular? We’ve had those as well, and then those, there are those meals that it’s like, well, hmm, it was, it was good. Yeah, but I don’t wanna throw it away. I don’t wanna waste food. Of course. So I put it in the refrigerator and then the next day it’s like, well, no, I’m not quite quite in the mood for that one. And then the next day, well, maybe I’ll have it for lunch. Yeah, no, I’m, I’m not quite in the mood for it. And then after a while, oh look, it’s gone bad, so I can throw it out., anybody have any of those kind of meals? Oh, you’re so brave. And then there are the, are the disaster meals.

Enough said. Well, actually, I have an example of a disaster meal. So this was early on in our relationship. My, when my wife Tiffany and I were dating and, and it was one, it was a Valentine’s Day and, and she wanted to cook for me. And now first off, Tiffany, I think is one is a fantastic chef. I’m a wonderful sous chef. I know how to chop. I know how to grill, but I’m not really good at, I can follow directions, but I’m not good at the art of cooking. And she is very good at the art of cooking and knows well needs a little bit more of this and a little bit more of that. And I’m like, I dunno, what’s it supposed to taste like? So we’re, we’re having this Valentine’s Day dinner, and she, I think it was like a shrimp pad thai type of meal. 

And this is the first time that she had used fish sauce. And she was going by the instructions and she took it down. She’s like, well, hang on a second. And she took one like, by, no, put it down. This is, we’re not eating this. Apparently, there was too much fish. Haw fish. Fish shush. And so, you know, here, and she felt like no, just, she took the plate away from me. I didn’t even get a chance to taste it. And she started feeling, you know, bummed, sad a little bit. I was gonna make this great meal. And I’m like, Hey, let’s just go to, you know, the local burger joint. All right. So we went, we had burgers and fries, and that was our Valentine’s Day, and it was wonderful. And that became our tradition. It’s like, Valentine’s Day, let’s just go get, you know, burgers and fries. So we would go out and get burgers and fries. That lasted about three years until she said, you know, I’m kind of done with burgers and fries.

The Ingredients of Positive Thoughts and Ideas

I’m like, oh. So I, you know, realizing my error and just saying, let’s go to burgers and fries. I made a reservation for Gary Danko in San Francisco, which is on the opposite end of the spectrum from burgers and fries. That was a very wonderful, wonderful meal. And it all came from this disaster meal, this meal that was just like, yeah, this isn’t happening. So have you ever had disaster meals? It’s okay. No one wants to admit a slight, little, little maybe. So how do we avoid those disaster meals? Now, what is this really all about? Because the same thing happens if you take the metaphor of a meal and think about it in terms of your thoughts, in terms of your ideas, in terms of how you’re showing up in life. We’ve all had those disaster meals, and we’ve had fantastic meals, we’ve had fantastic ideas, things that, you know, just took us off to the moon. And then there are those that just didn’t quite work out. So how do we avoid those disaster meals? How do we avoid the, the things that come up in life that we think are disasters that we thought was a really good idea, but then we realized that something was off something, and perhaps it’s something in, in our ingredients. Right? So what are the ingredients of thoughts?

Choosing the Right Ingredients for Positive Thoughts

Oh, I guess those are ingredients, aren’t they? So what types of thoughts were you having during those disasters? It’s time to eat out. Yeah. Shame. Thoughts, thoughts of food, right? Fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Not sure about how things, something’s gonna show up. Not sure about how things, something’s gonna come about it and fear about it. How about the fear, the ingredients of anger and resentment? Ooh, that’s a spicy meal leads to a lot of indigestion or the all, all powerful ingredient of self-righteousness. Yeah, of course, none of us have that ingredient, but we know five people that do. So all of those things that, that go into our thinking creates these disaster meals. 

Now, the, but the wonderful thing is it’s easy to get out of it once you get clear on what ingredients you’re using in life. Once you get clear on the fact that you are adding a dash of resentment, and instead of adding resentment, maybe add a little gratitude, maybe add some, I don’t know. I’m going to really make myself look silly. Cumin, what are some other good spices? Ginger, cardamon, ginger cardamon. So what’s the relationship? How, what kind of thought is a, is ginger sweet, a sweet thought cardamon? What kind of thought is that? Yummy. A yummy sweet thought. A beautiful thought. Get clear on what is, because sometimes we have great ideas, but the world isn’t quite ready for them yet.

Embracing Gratitude and Discernment: Navigating Life’s Ingredients

The situations aren’t quite right. And so we start down that path. And if you just get clear on what is, it’s easy to say before anybody takes a bite to take it and set it aside and go do something else to pivot, to make a new decision to, to discern what a better path might be, and to lead with your heart. So gratitude would be a wonderful ingredient to add to any meal. Now, one of the questions that we had a couple Sundays ago was, was around the idea of good and evil. And the question was, how do we get, how do we get rid of these evil people from the planet? And, you know, we, I had some more conversation about that. And the, you know, even the idea of getting rid of someone from the planet would you consider to be good or evil? It’s not such a good thought. 

And what does that create within you? What kind of meal does that create for you in life? Now, certainly we were looking at the extremes here, and, and the question was, well, what about Satan? And the one thing that Unity teaches is that we don’t teach, we don’t believe that there is another being out there, another force out there called Satan. There’s just one presence and one power active in our life and in our, in the universe, God, God, the good God, the omnipotence, God, the principle that holds all, all principles, that it is unchanging God, that energy of love, that Spirit of, of harmony. I like to call it the allness, the allness of life. Love and wisdom, the allness, because it’s all of us. It’s that it’s our unity with each other. It’s, it’s what holds the stars and the firmament to quote Maya Angelou, thank you, Dr. Maya Angelou. 

Transforming Relationships with Curiosity and Compassion

So if we were to apply this idea of this disaster meal and realize that, you know, you can even look at somebody who’s close to you, who sometimes they’re, you know, a knucklehead, anybody have knuckleheads in their life, it’s a spiritual term. It’s okay to raise your hand because yes, because we all have people that we’re not relating to in the moment that, you know, maybe they don’t, their, their thoughts or ideas don’t align with us. Or maybe they’re just, you know, we’re butting heads with each other. So what if we can change from our, the ingredients that we have in that relationship or that thought about that person from anger and resentment to perhaps understanding curiosity. I wonder what’s going on in that person’s life, so that is causing them to act this way. Or I wonder how that person was raised, or I wonder how that behavior is showing up in me. You know, there’s that phrase, “you spot it, you got it.” And we love it when we find somebody that is really cool and we like, you know, this person’s a great role model and, and I like that and I want that. And we already have that because we, we can see it in someone else. So we know that it’s within us. 

And the other side of the coin works too. If you see something where somebody is just really being a knucklehead, you can say, ah, where am I like that? If it’s really caught you, if it’s hooked you, ah, that means it’s more important., when am I like that? And under what conditions? So that I can recognize it and not use that ingredient change the change the, the the ingredients of my situation of my life in that, in that case, and lead with my heart pivot and discern what the right step is.

Navigating the Willpower and Commitment Conundrum

Now we have those ideas that we’ve ignored. They sound like great ideas. They were good the first night, you know, but yeah, we know it’s good for us, but I just, I’m not gonna do it. It’s like that silly meditation stuff that John talks about, that silly affirmative prayer stuff. It’s awesome. I do it on Sunday when he forces me to do it for four minutes the rest of the week. I’m just too busy. Sorry, I know it’s good for me. I know the brain sciences, my brain does fun things, but you know, I’m just, I’m not in the mood for that one. Any, anybody. Oh, you don’t have to raise your hand, but that, or how about those ideas that you’re excited about? And then we just lose our zeal for, you know, it’s a goal, perhaps something that we’re really excited about, something we want to create in our life, and then the next day it’s like, yeah, but I, back to real life, right? Back to the grind, back to the behaviors, back to the patterns. And I’m just, I, I lack the will to move forward. If you’re here last week with Dr. Paul Hasselbeck was talking about the will. We can all make choice. Everybody has a choice in how we react and how we respond and what ingredients we use. We have that choice, but do we have the will to actually use it and to move forward with it?

Discovering the Power of Self-Initiative in Achieving Goals

A lot of times I think it’s because we are seeking meaning outside of us. We think it’s a great idea, but then we’re seeking it to happen to us from out there. We’re waiting for it to come to us. One of the questions that came up three times from different people was this idea of missing the mark on our goals of having these great goals, but not making any progress of having this idea of who I am, who I’ve come here to be, but not f reaching my potential. There was another question also about the idea of creation. How do we, how do we, I don’t remember the exact word, but I think it was justify or how do we, you know, talk about creation and science together? Well, the thing about creation is unity doesn’t teach creationism. We love the beautiful text of the Torah, the beautiful text of, of Genesis.It’s just fantastic, I think. And we use it. And as it was written, as an allegory, it’s an allegory that was taught, you know, thousands and thousands of years ago, five, 10,000 years ago as a story around a campfire. It was oral tradition passed down generation to generation. And it’s a beautiful story of, of how, you know, we ma of the story of, of how we create. And so in unity, when we look at it metaphysically, that’s from the perspective of our consciousness. The creation story in Genesis is all about the creation story in us, in how we create in the world, and how we bring to the world those goals, ideas, and things that we love and are excited about. But unless you’re willing to really give it your all, you’re not going to bring it forward. It’s a great idea. Until you put that emotional energy into it, it’s a great idea until you take the steps to move forward. And it’s your idea or so you think, because if you don’t do anything, what happens three weeks later, someone else comes up with the idea. 

Letting Go of Expectations and Embracing Divine Inspiration

Have you ever seen that before? It happens all the time because the idea isn’t yours. It’s this divine idea in the world, in the universe. We simply had grasped a hold of it. And then unfortunately we have to pass it through our filters. And so my filter says it has to look like this in this box, in this square. One of the big reasons why people don’t reach their goals is that, and I get it, I understand what a smart goal is. I’ve been in business for a while. Anybody know what a smart goal is? Yeah. So ignore that. I think it’s important. And if we’re putting our goals into such a small box with expectations about when, with expectations about who or how, then the universe is gonna have to take some time to move all of those things together. But if you let go of those expectations, if you let go of those, of the of the way it has to be, and just open yourself up. I know this is the goal. This is the direction I want to head in, and I’m open and receptive to the universe. I’m open and receptive to divine inspiration. I’m open and receptive to God to tell me what the next step is. I don’t have to plan everything out. I simply go with the flow. And when the flow starts moving over here, it’s like a dance. I move over here. I’m not gonna start dancing. I move over here.

Sharing the Flavor of Unity: Embracing Divine Love, Wisdom, and Oneness

It’s a hula. It’s not a hula. So we allow ourselves to be one with the allness if we allow ourselves to be one with the allness. Anything that you want, anything that you is, comes from your heart. Anything that’s beneficial to the planet, anything that is helpful for other people is yours. So let go of your attachments, let go of your self righteousness. Let go of all of those things that are binding you and just allow love, life, and wisdom to flow. And when you do that, then share your good. If you have a wonderful meal, what are you gonna do with it? You’re gonna make it again and invite all your friends over, right? Because you can keep it for yourself if you want, but then it’s, it loses some of its flavor. Oh my gosh, am I getting too far in that metaphor? Don’t you wanna share it with someone else? Isn’t it wonderful when someone comes over and says, oh my goodness, this is the best thing I’ve ever had. How do you do it? How do you do it? One of the last questions that I had was, this is dessert. You ready? 

The first part was you were all beautiful children of God. Yes, yes. And if you don’t like that, you know that metaphor that, that father, mother God thing, you’re just it, you’re it. You know, the, the daily word talked about, you’re the reflection of God. I think that’s, I think we’re past that. You are the light shining of God. You’re it, the part of the question was how do we describe unity? Anybody have problems telling people what unity is about? And this isn’t just you, okay? This is the unity movement is struggling with this because we, we have language that’s a hundred and something years old, right? So do we use the language that our founders used back in the 18 hundreds? Do we use the language that, or do we abandon it and use words like metaphysics? Anybody know what metaphysics means besides the fact that I told you earlier? Yeah, there are a few people. How about practical Christianity? Anybody have a clue what that means? Okay, one person, because you’ve been in unity, two people cuz you’ve been in unity for since you were six. So what, 30 years? Why are you laughing in her heart? In her heart?

Perfect Unity, Embracing Oneness, Practical Spirituality, and the Power of Heart

So, you know, we can use all these terms, but nobody knows what they mean. And when you talk to people and say those words, they already think they know what it means. And you can’t change their mind. Everyone knows what Christianity is about in the world, right? Because we have this definition of it. Everyone who hears metaphysics and says, okay, yeah, I don’t know what that means, but this is what I think it is. A new age, new something. I don’t know. We hear these words that don’t really make any sense and we’re trying to define it with language. And even when you come to unity, we have a different word or meaning about God. God is everywhere. Present the allness of life in you. Like the ocean is in the wave. Not like the raisins in a bun somewhere hidden. Not like the, the divinity hidden deep within you. It’s all of you. What what’s hidden deep within you is your realization of it is you’re remembering of it. So what I like to say is, here’s what works for me and see if it works for you. I think the name is perfect unity. That’s what we teach. 

We are unity. We teach our oneness, our unity with God everywhere present in all of us. We teach our unity with each other. For God is in you. Like in me, we are all each born with sacred worth. You know? And that’s, that’s one of our principles. And we, we teach positive, practical, spiritual principles that everyone can apply in their life regardless of what category they put themselves in. The only other thing I add is what is in your heart? How does unity make you feel? What does it bring out in you? You know, I am my better self. I’m easier to get along with. So is my wife. 

Keeping it Simple: Spreading Love, Light, and Wisdom in the World

It’s a true story. I’m more gentle and kind. You know, I’m more, I’m more able to, I live life more gratefully. I live life more in the flow of life. So it’s really what comes in your heart because just keep it simple. Thank you. Keep it simple, sweetheart. Kiss the kiss method. Keep it simple because it’s really the only thing that matters is how it changes you, how it changes your heart, how you bring that light and love and wisdom into the world for you are the good news in the world. You are here to spread that, that love to everyone and it, you don’t have to make them believe what you believe. Have you ever heard that? You actually don’t have to believe what I’m talking about here. When I talk about God, when I talk about Jesus, the master teacher, the individual who expressed and experienced this Christ consciousness that each of us has.

Embracing Unconditional Love and Sharing Our Good with Others

When I talk about the Buddha mind, when I talk about whatever term you want to use, that puts us in a box, right? It’s that, it’s that within you, it’s your heart, your openness, your willingness to give of your good fortune, your love, your generosity, your kindness, your compassion, your understanding. So when those knuckleheads come around or, or, or in the world, instead of focusing on that one person whom you’re deeming evil, how about focusing on everyone around them? How about focusing on everyone around them and just sending them love and light unconditionally? You don’t have to do anything. I don’t even know you. I’m just sending you that energy. And as we do, we lift our own sense of self. We lift our own consciousness. We allow ourselves to be present in the situation. Allow ourselves to be our best self. Yes. Let’s move to our affirmation, Ethan. I’m going to read our affirmation and allow it to just allow it to just take it in and allow it to be a part of you. And then we’ll affirm it together. I release that which note, which does not serve my better self. I accept that which nourishes me and I share my good with others together. I release that which does not serve my better self. I accept that which nourishes me and I share my good with others. And so our daily practice is simply be aware of the ingredients that you are adding to your life. Be aware of what’s happening. Change it up.